Last week, I told you that I’ve been working on a variety of trainings and certifications (and I didn’t even list them all).

And I mentioned that part of my current study is for certification as an oracle card reader.

So this week, I thought I’d offer a card reading. Let’s just assume that this applies to you, as it applies to everyone who comes across it. And let’s assume that no matter when this reading lands in front of you, that’s the appropriate timing for you.

A few weeks ago, I sent out a content survey to my email list asking about what they enjoy receiving from me most. Overwhelmingly, the Fuck Shit Up Fridays email newsletter won out. So, as I close out this podcast (which also means my Wednesday emails and Thursday social content), that’s where a lot of my focus will be directed. What’s most interesting to me about that is that the newsletter came from, like, channeled guidance or whatever. And, listen. You can believe whatever you want to believe about spirit/the universe/god/what-the-fuck-ever and what connections we, as humans, may or may not have to the generality of whatever that is. I’m not here to be your spiritual leader, and I’m (still) not interested in getting into the details of what I personally believe (and absolutely do not believe) about it.

Hi, I’m Keli. I’m your life coach now. Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.

Not like outer space, but the space I take up — in my home, in my life, in your inbox, in the world… That kind of space. Throughout the pandemic, my partner and I accumulated quite a bit of stuff. And last fall, we had a big yard sale to get rid of a lot of it. Then we donated whatever didn’t sell. For the last several months, I’ve been periodically working on cleaning and organizing our basement. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve swapped the furniture in my office and meditation room to create a space that’s more conducive to some new offers I’ve got coming out in the fall.

If so, you know that retreats are…*record scratch* Wait. What is a retreat? This is a conversation I recently had with a friend of mine. She’s a fellow retreat host and was in a comment thread about pricing for retreats. Some folks were ASTOUNDED at how/why someone would charge $___ for their retreat. But the thing is, “retreat” doesn’t MEAN anything. Not anything universal, anyway.

When you think of ADORNMENT, what comes to mind? Someone dripping in jewels, with lots of drapey fabric and heavy makeup? Tattoos, piercings, and other body art? I want to invite you to redefine adornment for yourself, and the definition I’m going to offer you to try on for size is this: Adornment is simply anything you put on your body with intention.

What do you find nourishing? And when you first consider that question, is food the thing that comes to mind immediately? We tend to think of food as our sole source of nourishment. And yes, there’s a whole conversation we need to have about what food is nourishing, how the food industry in the US has become so profit-driven that the nutrient density of a lot of food is a fraction of what it was less than 100 years ago, how inaccessible nourishing foods are in so many areas, and how easy it is for influencers and large corporations to distort the concept of nutrition to push ultra-processed garbage as essentially food replacements.

Hi, I’m Keli. I’m your life coach now. Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been asking the question, “When was the last time you felt REALLY good in your body?” First, I asked inside the private community for Project Reclamation. Next, I asked my email list. Then I asked on social media. The responses I’ve gotten have been pretty…telling. Only one person has said that feeling good in her body is the norm. And she’s a yoga instructor. So doing things to support feeling good in her body is literally her job. For everyone else? Not so much.

A few weeks ago, I sat down with my friend and co-host for an upcoming retreat to talk about the details. We decided to record it and share it with you. If you’ve ever wanted to attend an event where you’re supported in self-exploration, personal development, and spiritual expansion, this is one you’ll want to get in on. We’ve still got a couple spots open at the time of this podcast episode release, but there are a handful of people considering them…more people than there are spots open. So, if you want in, now’s the time to jump.

Hi, I’m Keli. I’m your life coach now. Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.

How did March treat you? Was it lovely and full of wonderful moments? If so, this content is not for you. You’re welcome to scroll on past, close it out, and pretend it never crossed your feed. For me, March was pretty fucking terrible. And if your March sucked, too, I want to offer you the reflection work I’m doing to cultivate some self-compassion as we begin April. My March began with illness, ended with illness, and in the middle, there was death.

Hi, I’m Keli. I’m your life coach now. Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.

You don’t need an avatar. If you’re in any kind of entrepreneurial space, I know you’ve seen the concept of the “Client Avatar” floating around. And there are people who SWEAR by the avatar. They will tell you that you can’t market or sell anything without an avatar. But here’s what I’d like to offer you: That’s bullshit. It’s truly one (of many) of my least favorite holdovers from old-school advertising that has made its way into content marketing.

Hi, I’m Keli. I’m your life coach now. Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.

How do you define success? That’s a big question. And it spans many areas of life. So it may be difficult to answer. But let’s break it down: We’ll start with career. How do you define career success?

These aren’t testimonials my clients have sent me in response to some leading questions about our work together. Nor are they pieces of information anyone has asked to be shared for the purpose of marketing and selling “working with me.” (No shade against testimonials. I use them. This just isn’t that.) This isn’t about me at all. It’s a moment for us to celebrate the astounding accomplishments these women have achieved. Because they deserve to be celebrated. (Even if they’re anonymized to protect their privacy and retain their rights for consent.)

Hi, I’m Keli. I’m your life coach now. Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.

The last couple of years have been fucking rough. I know that’s true of a lot of people for a lot of reasons. But for me, it’s been largely related to recovery from an abusive situation. Recovery is a tough road. Regardless of what you’re recovering from. And this has been no different. My life was sort of flipped upside down, then shaken and jostled on repeat for a couple of years until I was sort of thrown out of the container completely. Unceremoniously. The path of healing from everything that transpired has been difficult. And slow. And often painful. And to this day, it is still quite uncertain.

I’m going back to France this September. Wanna go with me? You’re absolutely invited! Only a handful of spots are left open, and I’d love to reserve one for you! But, like, what’s the purpose of this trip? ← That’s a great question, and it’s one that a lot of folks have been asking my co-host, Sarah Magnoni and me. Sarah is a marketing consultant by day and psychic medium by night. I’m a sales coach in one leg of my business, and I also hang out in the Akashic records. So we’re putting this shit together in a way that’s a bit nontraditional. A bit unconventional. A bit off-putting to a lot of folks. WHICH IS HOW WE KNOW IT’S RIGHT.