Reclaiming Sex

Wanna know one of the best ways to improve your sex life? Use a good lube. Seriously. Wetter sex is better sex. (Is there a limit to this? Sure. Are there those who over-lubricate? Yes. In general, though, this is a truth of the world to accept.)

This has nothing to do with your age, nor does it mean anything negative about your body. Lube is your friend. It can increase pleasure while decreasing pain. I mean, dry-on-dry friction can lead to tears, fissures, and just general OUCH! You deserve better.

My recommendations: water-based for vaginal play (external or penetrative) and silicone for anal play or shower sex. (Silicone neither absorbs nor dissipates in water.) If you’re into warming or cooling sensations, great! Not necessary, though. Stay away from flavors and fragrances if you’re sensitive to them, which is super common. (Can you take a scented bubble bath without getting a yeast infection? No? Then you fall into this category.)

Petroleum will dry out your genital tissues (and also break down condoms and toys), so vaseline and baby oil? No. Vegetable oils can linger around on the surface of your internal tissues, allowing bacteria to form underneath. So no olive oil or whatever, either.

And if you’ve used a big-name brand in the past and absolutely hated it? Just know that good marketing doesn’t necessarily make a good product.

If you’re looking for a good lube, you *can* shop at this link. Two other brands I endorse because they’re excellent products: Sliquid and Jo.