Reclaiming Reflection

We are about to endure the onslaught of “NEW YEAR NEW YOU” bullshit. And I’d love to offer you an alternative.

You, my darling love bug, are not going to be a different person on January 1 than you are on December 31. And you’re not going to be a different person on January 2 than you are on January 1. You’re not even going to be a different person in January than you are TODAY.

You will, in fact, be the same person. And if that’s disappointing news to you, I’m so sorry to be the truth bearer today.

But you don’t HAVE to be an entirely new person — at any point — in order to grow into your favorite version of yourself.

Over the next few weeks, I’m giving you some presents. This week, it’s a guidebook for Reclaiming Reflection. It’s a way to allow us to take back the concept of reflection from the traditional way of looking back that only focuses on the shitty pieces, with the idea that doing so will somehow propel us into massive overnight transformation.

That shit doesn’t work.

At any transition point, it can be helpful to reflect upon what happened in order to move forward strategically. But there’s a way to do it that actually makes it meaningful and beneficial, rather than just feeling like everything is wrong, and the only way to fix it is to become someone new TOMORROW.

I call it Cyclical Reflection, to leave it open for seasonal changes, new years, business launches, lunar cycles, menstrual cycles, birthdays, and any other cycles or transitional moments you want to honor within the context of your life.

You can access your free Reclaiming Reflection guidebook at www.KeliLynJewel.com/reflection.

Go through the steps. Follow the prompts. And let me know how the process goes for you! Tag me on TikTok or Instagram @Keli.Lyn.Jewel.

Again, reflection is vital to move forward strategically. However, when we reflect, in order to provide an accurate representation of what happened, it’s crucial to examine what went well AND WHY so that we can repeat and build on it. It’s equally as valuable to examine what didn’t go well AND WHY so that we can make objective decisions about what to change.

From this reflection, in the free Reclaiming Reflection guide, we’ll use what you notice to shift into future-focused work to develop specific goals and set up strategic plans. And we’ll make sure it all works for you. Because your business should fit into your life, not the other way around. (Even if you’re not an entrepreneur, this applies to you. Your “business” may be a job working for someone else. It may be volunteer activism. It may be a focus on your health. It all applies.)

As we embark on this reflection journey, we’re intentionally starting with victories. As humans, we’re hardwired with a negativity bias. This means we tend to discount the positive aspects of our lives and businesses and more easily focus on the negative aspects. But that gives us neither a clear nor an accurate picture.

Focusing just on the wins without a realistic approach toward what didn’t go as well as we would have liked is equally useless. Because, again, it’s neither clear nor accurate.

And without a clear and accurate viewpoint, we don’t know what we’ve actually created and how. So we can’t build on what’s working. And we can’t correct what isn’t.

We need the clarity, and we need the accuracy. So we need to see both the victories and the challenges. Not just one or the other.

With clarity and accuracy, we can make valuable decisions, set attainable goals, and create strategic plans to get there. Without it, we’re just flailing about, leaving the results of our business up to our clients/audience/the general public and our family/friends/other personal responsibilities. Then we wonder why we haven’t gotten where we want to and begin to resent our business.

That all feels like shit. So instead, we reflect.

In the gift I’m offering you, my Reclaiming Reflection guide, we’ll look at victories 1st: main accomplishments and milestones reached, standout successes and positive feedback received, innovative strategies implemented, projects completed, successful partnerships and collaborations.

Then and only then, we’ll move on through the challenges of the last cycle: unexpected external obstacles, how you responded/reacted to the obstacle and how you overcame it, mistakes and setbacks, lessons you learned along the way and how you’ll take those lessons into the next cycle.

From there, we’ll move on to your personal development over the last cycle.

We want resilience. We want sustainability. We want progress.

In order to build resilience in moving toward your goals, you must be resilient yourself. In order for your action plan to be sustainable, you have to set up the systems and establish the boundaries for sustainability in your life. And progress? Well, your progress toward your goals is going to come from your own growth and development.

Your business will grow at the same rate you do. So the next section focuses on your personal growth over the last cycle: what skills you’ve learned, what strengths you’ve discovered, notable opportunities for change, capacity limitations you’ve discovered and how you want to plan for them in the next cycle, the growth you’re currently avoiding or resisting (and why…and what you would need to have in place to support you in that growth).

You’ll then go through a sustainability assessment which is based on concepts from the tarot. If you’re into that kind of thing, it’ll be totally your vibe. If you’re not, you wouldn’t have even known if I didn’t tell you just now. But it’s an assessment of certain areas of your life (expanded from the pentacles), where they are and where you’d like them to be, on a scale of 1-10, WITHOUT 10 being “the best.” Because maximum capacity in every area is not sustainable, and truly, max capacity in any area generally means something else is lacking.

After the assessment, you’ll go through an exercise I call Stop, Start, Continue. Why is it called that? Because you’re deciding what you’ll stop doing, start doing (or start doing differently), and continue doing exactly as you have.

Why make this a cyclical ritual?

When we ritualize practices, we up the ante for our brains. They become more important and meaningful than a boring routine. They become infused with a level of emotionality and connection that’s not possible when a practice is, instead, rote and monotonous.

That’s not to say that monotonous routines are bad. They’re not! They’re just different. Creating a ritualized practice out of reflecting on the past in order to move forward allows a focused intentionality to set up a solid foundation for moving forward.

And doing so in a cyclical fashion gives you the agency to define the cycles you want to adhere to. Whether you want to stick to the common annual reflections of new years, you want to tap into nature with seasonal reflections or lunar cycles, or you want to make it super personal with menstrual cycles and birthdays, you get to decide which cycles to honor with this ritual.

I encourage you to print your Reclaiming Reflection workbook and use the label at the top to identify which cycle you’re reflecting upon so that you can use it as documentation of your growth. And I’d love to cheer you on in your progress! Tag me on social and let me know how it’s going for you, which cycles you’re honoring, and how you’re celebrating your growth!

For ongoing support via master-certified coaches (including myself) and a supportive community of others journeying toward reclaiming various aspects of themselves and their lives, I’d like to invite you to join us inside Project Reclamation.

We’re an equitable self-coaching community built on the concepts of nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitively shifting the oppressive narratives we’ve been handed. We would love to welcome you into our community.

Sign up today at www.KeliLynJewel.com/project-reclamation.