It’s Friday! Let’s Fuck Shit Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
🔥 SEX
In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
Your most powerful sex organ is not your genitals. It’s your BRAIN. If your brain’s not on board with what’s happening in, on, and around your body, you’re not going to have the most pleasurable experience you could. But if your brain IS on board? Ooooh! Pleasure centers are unlocked!
So what does it mean to get YOUR brain on board for pleasure?
For some folks, porn is helpful. For others, romance novels get them going. Sexting can be helpful. Talking out a fantasy with a partner. Or just fantasizing on its own!
There’s no right or wrong here. But my invitation to you over the next couple of weeks is to explore mental stimulation for yourself. What gets your brain in the mood for a sensual or sexual experience? And how can you incorporate more of that into your life to up your pleasure quotient?
💖 SELF-CARE
In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
Let’s talk about travel. How do you prioritize your needs and wants when you’re away from home? (And how “ridiculous” are you willing to be to make sure what you need and want is met?)
This has come up in a handful of conversations I’ve had lately. Some with clients. Others not. But my partner and I road-trip from time to time for concerts, and when we do, some of our standards have been deemed “ridiculous” by other people.
For example: We take our own pillows. And our own toilet paper. Because neither of us needs neck or headaches — either from pillow shapes/sizes that don’t work well for our bodies or from detergents with strong fragrances. And neither of us wants TP lint clinging to our vulvas. (Also, when I travel internationally, I’ll often take my own toilet paper because I’ve been in far too many places with scented TP, and my sensitive vag does not appreciate the after-effects of such nonsense.)
We also tend to stay at AirBnBs rather than hotels because both of us have dietary restrictions that make life easier when we have a kitchen. Plus, we like to take our dogs with us. (Which is another thing a lot of folks consider “ridiculous.”)
When you’re traveling, of course you’re not going to have all of the comforts of home available to you. Because you’re not at home! But you can prioritize getting your needs met and honoring your own wants. You can ensure you’re comfortable and living according to your own standards. And you can let other people take their “ridiculous” comments over there without internalizing them.
💸 SALES
Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Get my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice at KeliLynJewel.com/voice.
I’ve recently worked with a branding specialist to create cohesiveness where I was only feeling chaos. And let me tell you, it was a trip!
When you think of your brand identity, you probably go to the visuals — fonts and colors, maybe a logo. But your brand is more than that. It’s the whole vibe, with the visuals being the LAST thing you focus on, not the first.
The visual components of your brand are designed to give off that vibe. But the vibe must be established first. And that comes from knowing who you are, knowing what you represent, and deeply aligning with your values. It comes from knowing who your clients are, understanding their problems better than they do, and being able to communicate the solutions in a way that feels like you’re inside their heads. It comes from knowing what kind of relationship you have with your clients, what kind of journey you take them on, and who has the authority. It comes from trusting yourself and trusting your clients. It comes from understanding which of your offers are right for which clients, which aren’t, and why.
When you start with the visuals, they don’t give off the vibe. Because it’s just picking pretty colors and shapes you like. When you dive into your brand identity, the colors and shapes emerge.
If you want to create a cohesive brand identity, and you’re not sure how to do that, get in touch with my friend Holland Colvin.
✨ SPELL
Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a new moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
NEW MOON RITUAL
The new moon is an excellent time to focus on what you want to create, achieve, or accomplish. You can get fancy with your rituals, and if you’re into altar work, crystal work, or any other kind of spiritual work, please feel free to incorporate it. Personally, I like to keep things simple.
Supplies: paper, pen, glass of water that you’ll drink
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else.
Write out what it is you want to create, achieve, or accomplish. This can be big or small. It can be for the lunar cycle beginning with this new moon, the next six months, the next calendar year, or a lifelong dream.
Read what you’ve written—out loud—over your glass of water. Then drink the water.
The upcoming new moon in Virgo will take place Monday evening, September 2, here in the central time zone of the US, though a lot of astrology folks across the interwebs are listing it as Tuesday, September 3. Pick one. Ritualize both. Whatever feels best to you. There’s no right or wrong here.
Given that the Virgo archetype is about the foundations we tend to take for granted, that’s where I encourage you to focus for this ritual. Consider your daily routines — the ways in which you approach your mental and physical health, the systems by which you run your household or your business, the ways in which your familial structure operates.
🌑Which pieces have you been neglecting lately?
🌑Which could use a bit of a refresh?
🌑What have you been talking about starting but haven’t actually taken the initiative to do the damn thing?
✊ STATECRAFT
Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
This week, we’re turning our hexation toward Texas governor, Greg Abbott.
One of the inaccurate stories the Republican party has thrown out has to do with illegal voting. There are claims of folks crossing the border in droves just to cast votes for Democratic candidates. And in response, Abbott (among others) has moved to do massive purges of voting registration.
Of course, nobody wants illegal votes cast. But the thing is, this premise is total bullshit. There’s little to no voter fraud that has been detected, EVER. And the concept of random people from other countries infiltrating our polling locations to cast votes for Democrats is just…not a thing. Like “late-term abortions” is not a thing.
When these stories are touted, though, and officials use them as the foundation to take the action of removing registered voters from the rolls, what does happen in real life is that people show up to their polling place expecting to be able to cast their vote and they’re turned away because their registration is no longer valid.
That makes voting harder. It diminishes the confidence the general population has in our election procedures and, by proxy, the elections themselves. Which is kind of the whole fucking point.
And while this isn’t new, nor is it confined to Texas, Greg Abbott is the most recent jackass bandying about with pride for purging voter rolls. So this week, we hex him. And then, we confirm our own voter registration to ensure we’re still properly registered. Seriously. Check your voter registration. Please and thank you.
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
