It’s Friday! Let’s Fuck Shit Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
🔥 SEX
In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
Not everyone is into a ton of foreplay, but for some of us, it’s a crucial part of our sexual experience. When we think of foreplay, though, it’s often 5 minutes of rushed caressing before penetration.
And that just does NOT work for everyone.
So I want to encourage you to expand your concept of foreplay.
One of the things I used to instill in my clients when I sold sex toys is a concept I learned from Esther Perel: Foreplay starts in the morning.
When you incorporate foreplay throughout your day, that may look like touches, kisses, or comments during your morning routine. It may include sexting on your lunch break. Or maybe a quick risque pic sent when you get home from work.
Whatever gets YOU going (and is consensual) counts as foreplay and can help you connect with your partner(s) and yourself more deeply while accentuating your pleasure! And you know we’re all for connection and pleasure around here.
💖 SELF-CARE
In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
I spent 14 years as a massage therapist, and when I host retreats there are always massages or spa days or something of the sort involved.
That means I’ve encountered MANY people who are having a massage for the first time. And for a lot of folks, it’s an anxiety-producing concept. After all, you’re about to have a stranger touch you for an hour or so. That’s vulnerable. It can be scary. And even triggering for some.
With that in mind, here are a few things to know about receiving your first massage:
💆 You’ll need to take your clothes off before getting on the table. (If it’s a chair massage, that’s different.) Your massage therapist needs full access to your skin in order to see and feel what’s happening beneath their hands.
💆 Taking your underwear off or keeping them on is up to you. Your massage therapist can work around them, and you’re not going to have your genitals or whole booty exposed at any point. (A little exposure to one cheek at a time may occur, depending on the type of draping your massage therapist follows. But your whole booty should never be uncovered during a massage.) Bra straps, though, will get in the way. Take your bra off.
💆 You’ll be covered. There will be sheets and blankets to preserve modesty and to keep you warm. Your massage therapist will uncover each limb individually, as well as your back, in order to work on those areas. Otherwise, they’ll keep you covered.
💆 Lotion or oil will be applied to your skin. If you have topical sensitivities or allergies, you may want to know about the ingredients. For the most part, professional massage products are fragrance-free and not based in petroleum. This isn’t the lotion you use after a shower. Though you may feel like you need a shower after a massage.
💆 You’re in charge! If there’s anything you’re not comfortable with, SAY THAT. If you want more or less pressure, SAY THAT. The massage therapist can only feel what’s happening with your musculature, not your thoughts and emotions. And they actually WANT you to be comfortable and relaxed.
💆 It’s fine if you fall asleep. Nobody cares. Some take it as a compliment.
💆 Your massage therapist uses that term. Not masseuse. Don’t say that. It’s a term that’s been sexualized, and using the term massage therapist has helped the industry separate the trained and licensed professionals from the sex trafficking nightmares.
💆 Drink more water than you think you need after your massage. You may be sore the day or two following your massage, and drinking water will help alleviate that soreness. Dehydrating yourself will just make it worse.
💸 SALES
Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Get my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice at KeliLynJewel.com/voice.
One of the things new entrepreneurs tend to forget is that their audience is made up of actual people. Individual humans. All with thoughts, feelings, and lived experiences.
Your audience is not money. And when you start treating them like they’re dollar signs instead of sentient beings, you’ll lose them.
It’s tough to learn how to balance your revenue goals with creating genuine connection, but my top tip for that is to remember that they are real people. Always have that top of mind when you’re marketing and selling your offers.
They’re not in your audience to do you a favor. They don’t exist to serve you. They’re in your orbit because they think you can help them in some way. They want their problems solved, they don’t care about solving yours. Nor should they.
✨ SPELL
Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a full moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
FULL MOON RITUAL
The full moon is an excellent time to release anything you’ve been holding onto. And this can mean one of two things! Either you’ve been clinging to something that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip, or you’ve been working toward creating something that you’re now ready to release into the world. Whichever option resonates most with you, that’s where to focus your energy for this ritual.
Supplies: paper, pen, candle, some sort of non-flammable receptacle (actual cauldron, metal, glass, or ceramic bowl or pot, fire pit outside, the base of a grill — you’re gonna burn some shit up so you want something to let it burn in that’s not going to cause any damage to anything)
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else. Then light your candle.
Write out what it is that you’d like to release. If this is something you’ve been clinging to that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip on it, fold the paper in half AWAY from your body. If it’s something you’ve been working on and are releasing into the world, fold the paper in half TOWARD your body.
Light the paper on fire and let it burn in your non-flammable receptacle.
BONUS: If you want to mix the burnt ashes with salt and/or offer them back to the earth by sprinkling them around outside or burying them under the moon, go for it!
Monday, August 19, brings us a full moon in Aquarius! Which, honestly, could not be more perfect because Aquarius encapsulates the activist archetype. Given the current state of affairs all over the world, the fact that we’re heavily into election season here in the US, and the shift in focus to direct our attention toward sustainable engagement within Project Reclamation, I find this full moon placement to be hilarious. One of those “I couldn’t have planned this!” moments.
For your ritual, I recommend the following reflection questions:
🌕 What part of your life is REALLY reflecting your values well right now?
🌕 What part of your life could use a little reorientation toward your values?
🌕 Where can you tap into community support to ensure more value alignment within your life? (Pro tip: Project Reclamation needs to be on that list.)
✊ STATECRAFT
Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
We’re reserving our hexation this week. Instead, we’re embracing America’s dad, Tim Walz.
Why?
Because while it’s important to point out how the patriarchy has fucked us all, regardless of gender, it’s equally important (if not more so) to lift up examples of non-toxic masculinity.
Tim Walz is the dad many folks wish they had when they lost theirs to Fox News and Q-Anon. And if we’re going to have a cis-het white man as the VP, he’s top tier.
What’s your favorite Tim Walz meme so far?
******************************
That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
