It’s Friday! Let’s Fuck Shit Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
🔥 SEX
In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
Start foreplay in the morning.
Seriously.
Not 5 minutes before you want to engage in penetration. (Because fucking OUCH!)
But if you think you might want to get busy in the evening, get flirty in the morning. Touch your partner (or yourself…or both) in sensual ways before leaving for work. Send suggestive text messages throughout the day. Make sexy plans on your lunch break. And live into intimacy throughout the day.
That doesn’t mean being constantly distracted, but checking in with your own sexuality throughout the day rather than checking out with social media or whatever else you use to numb out.
Then when it’s time to truly connect with your sexuality, it’ll be more readily accessible. More within reach. More available.
You’ll be ready. And eager. And you’ll have a much more pleasurable experience.🔥
💖 SELF-CARE
In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
Inside Project Reclamation, I pull a card for the community each week. This week, considering we have a problematic holiday here in the US, I pulled from a deck called Hack Your Nervous System, created by Brianna Rose. You can get the deck from her Etsy shop here: hack-your-nervous-system-card-deck
The card I pulled is called Welcome the Wave, and it reads: “When you fight with difficult emotions, hoping to make them “go away,” stress chemicals get released in the body. Instead, let’s try something that is proven to soothe your nervous system when hard feelings arise: Place your hand on your heart, your belly, or wherever the emotion is showing up in your body. You can rhythmically tap or rub this area for a more regulating effect.
Acknowledge: “I am feeling ___ (anxious, sad, angry, etc.)”
Normalize: “This is painful & scary, but it makes sense why I would feel this way.”
Explore Purpose: “Thank you (emotion), for trying to ___ (keep me safe, protected, motivated, etc.)”
Welcome: “I will take care of you for as long as you need to stay. You are welcome here.”
Notice what happens.
For more emotional processing techniques, nervous system regulation hacks, as well as cognitive self-coaching tools and access to master-certified coaches to help you when you’re stuck, all within a supportive community with an equity-centered focus, join us in Project Reclamation. 💖
💸 SALES
Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Email or DM me, and I’ll send you my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice.
Is it a skill issue or a will issue?
This is one of the most valuable questions I ask myself when coaching the SellingU Community members. And I invite you to ask yourself this question the next time you’re “stuck” or “confused” or “don’t know what to do/how to do it.” Because it offers a lot of clarity on the type of guidance to seek.
If it’s a skill issue, that means you need training. That can look like learning more about a platform you’re using, attending a copywriting course, or role-playing your consult calls to get practice making direct offers.
If it’s a will issue, that means you need coaching. That can look like utilizing self-coaching tools to work through whatever you’re resisting or working with a coach to help pull out what’s really going in ways that you can’t see from the inside.
But if it’s a skill issue and you work with a mindset coach, you’re going to be spinning around in self-blame for not being able to figure it out. And if it’s a will issue, but you seek out courses and programs to teach you more of the “how-to” things, you’re just going to be spending money to learn what you already know and not actually addressing the real issue.
Most entrepreneurial support programs offer one or the other. You either get training, or you get coaching. In SellingU, you get both. If that sounds useful to you, sign up for the spring cohort here. 💸
✨ SPELL
Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a full moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
FULL MOON RITUAL
The full moon is an excellent time to release anything you’ve been holding onto. And this can mean one of two things! Either you’ve been clinging to something that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip, or you’ve been working toward creating something that you’re now ready to release into the world. Whichever option resonates most with you, that’s where to focus your energy for this ritual.
Supplies: paper, pen, candle, some sort of non-flammable receptacle (actual cauldron, metal, glass, or ceramic bowl or pot, fire pit outside, the base of a grill — you’re gonna burn some shit up so you want something to let it burn in that’s not going to cause any damage to anything)
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else. Then light your candle.
Write out what it is that you’d like to release. If this is something you’ve been clinging to that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip on it, fold the paper in half AWAY from your body. If it’s something you’ve been working on and are releasing into the world, fold the paper in half TOWARD your body.
Light the paper on fire and let it burn in your non-flammable receptacle.
BONUS: If you want to mix the burnt ashes with salt and/or offer them back to the earth by sprinkling them around outside or burying them under the moon, go for it!
The full moon in Gemini on Monday, November 27, might stir up some stress and tension. It’s an excellent time to go inward and get curious about those deep emotions. Write it down or talk it out and notice what comes up for you. ✨
✊ STATECRAFT
Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
This week, we’re hexing Ron DeSantis. Did he do something especially fucked up this week? No. But here’s the deal: Thanksgiving is a holiday that has been whitewashed in the US public education system since forever, and just when we’ve FINALLY started making some progress on having *actual* history taught in schools, this fucker starts banning books in Florida and running for President.
So in honor of all the history we did not learn in school and that may be kept from students; in honor of all the ways the egregious truths have been hidden from view; in honor of all the terror that colonizers have inflicted upon Native people here in the United States over the last several hundred years, we’re hexing DeSantis to keep his shitty educational platform out of federal office.
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
