It’s Friday! Let’s Fuck Shit Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
🔥 SEX
In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
Do you know your own body? What turns you on, where (and how) you like to be touched, what you don’t find pleasurable, etc?
Or do you approach an intimate experience with a partner from the standpoint of them either knowing or not knowing how to please you without having that information yourself?
Often, because of the socialization we receive — specifically for those of us socialized as women — we’ve been taught to distance ourselves from (and even dissociate from) our bodies to the point that we make it our partners’ job to find out what works for us.
And when we place those kinds of expectations on our partners without having the baseline knowledge for ourselves, we can easily get caught up in blaming our partners for our lack of pleasure, accusing them of being universally “bad in bed.” Or the reverse — assuming we’ll never experience the heights of pleasure like we did with that one magical person because we attribute all the glory to their skill and talent.
But the reality is that it’s YOUR job to know what works for you. And what doesn’t. And it’s YOUR job to communicate with your partner to let them know what you know.
If you don’t know your own body, my homework for you for the next two weeks is to engage in some self-exploration. That can look like masturbation, but it doesn’t have to. It can also include exploring self-touch while showering, putting on lotion, getting dressed, and going through your skincare routine.
What feels good to you? What speed, type of motion, and pressure do you find most pleasurable?
Make note of this information and take it into the bedroom with you. You might just find that your experience is heightened because of it!🔥
💖 SELF-CARE
In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
Have you ever had acupuncture?
My partner and I celebrated our 13-year anniversary by getting acupuncture together on New Year’s Day. It was a first for both of us. (Well, technically, I had gotten acupuncture once. From a chiropractor who I’m pretty sure took a weekend training. And I definitely don’t think that counts. This was not that.)
It was a fascinating experience!
While we certainly had different experiences, we both felt tingles, aches, releases, so much relaxation, and waves of sensation.
And though I’m not entirely sure how she felt the rest of the day, I felt high AF for several hours! It. Was. Wild.
This particular acupuncturist only works with the head, so we had needles in our ears, the tops of our heads, and one each in the middle of our foreheads. But trust me when I say that was plenty for a full-body experience.
I’m on the waitlist for a different acupuncturist who uses needles throughout the body, so I’ll for sure report back on how those experiences differ.
My purpose in sharing this with you is twofold:
I genuinely want to know if you’ve received acupuncture and, if so, what your experience was like.
To build upon the sex tip above and encourage you to explore your body in new ways, to discover what your body responds well to and what it doesn’t. (And as a bonus tip: things like couples’ massages, couples’ floats, and couples’ acupuncture totally exist.)
💸 SALES
Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Email or DM me, and I’ll send you my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice.
What systems do you have in place for your business?
Do they support you in doing what you want to do with your business — including taking time off? Or do they cause you stress and overwhelm? (Possibly because you don’t follow them. Or don’t even have systems set up.)
Let’s back up a tick. Do you even know what systems your business needs?
A lot of entrepreneurial folks (especially solopreneurs, I’ve found) seem allergic to the concept of systems. They think if they set up a system for something, it’ll box them in, and they’ll lose all their freedom.
But here’s what’s actually true: Without systems, you’re constantly recreating shit that could be done once. Just once.
Without systems, you’re forever figuring out HOW to do something that can run its own or that you just have to fill in pieces here and there.
Without systems, you’re continually “busy” without actually getting anything done.
When you have effective, efficient systems in place, you know what needs to be done when and how to do it. Because you’ve decided ahead of time what that needs to look like.
And it can be overwhelming AF to consider setting up all of your systems from scratch.
That’s why I’m creating a Systems Skeleton to include in the 6-Week Systems Soirée held within the SellingU community.
Doors for SellingU don’t open until the spring, but if this sounds like something you need, reply to this email and tell me. I’ll put you on the shortlist for entry. 💸
✨ SPELL
Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a new moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
NEW MOON RITUAL
The new moon is an excellent time to focus on what you want to create, achieve, or accomplish. You can get fancy with your rituals, and if you’re into altar work, crystal work, or any other kind of spiritual work, please feel free to incorporate it. Personally, I like to keep things simple.
Supplies: paper, pen, glass of water that you’ll drink
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else.
Write out what it is you want to create, achieve, or accomplish. This can be big or small. It can be for the lunar cycle beginning with this new moon, the next six months, the next calendar year, or a lifelong dream.
Read what you’ve written—out loud—over your glass of water. Then drink the water.
The new moon isn’t until next Thursday, and I considered holding this week’s FSU Fridays newsletter off until next week so it would be closer to the new moon. But truly, I wanted to say hello and wish you a happy new year. It felt a little off-brand to NOT do that. (And by off-brand, I mean for ME, not just for my company. It felt inauthentic. I want to celebrate with you and wish you happiness and goodness for every single reason, so to skip a major fucking opportunity for that seemed…not me.)
So here we are, hanging out in your inbox nearly a full week before the new moon.
If this week has seemed a little slow for you, and you expected yourself to hit the ground running in the new year, consider this week and next week as your runway. Let YOUR new year begin on Thursday, January 11, with the new moon. And use the next few days to get clear on what it is you want to offer yourself in 2024.
✨ What do you want to initiate with the beginning of the new year?
✨ Where do you want it to go?
✨ What do you want to create, build, grow, or accomplish?
✨ And what are the first steps to do that?
Write all that shit out and use it for your New Moon Ritual next Thursday.
Make that your New Year Ritual.
And so we begin… ✨
✊ STATECRAFT
Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
We’re just going to start the year off strong by hexing Trump.
Because obviously.
For all of the reasons.
Maybe together, we can help ensure the Supreme Court upholds the state decisions to keep him off their primary ballots. (Because, ya know, “states’ rights” and shit. 🙄)
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
