It’s Friday! Let’s Fuck Shit Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
🔥 SEX
In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
Happy Pride! 🏳️🌈
Pride month officially starts June 1, and in honor of the journey many queers take to acknowledge, own, and celebrate our sexuality, I want to invite you to do the same.
Regardless of your sexual orientation, take a few minutes to consider how you define your own sexuality and whether that definition is rigid or fluid.
Get to know your own sexual orientation a little more today with a little free-form writing about what your sexuality means to you, how you relate to your sexuality, and how you express your sexuality. 🔥
💖 SELF-CARE
In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
Whoa! In the last FSU Friday email, I asked if you’d like my massage oil recipe, and I didn’t quite expect THAT response! 😂
Personally, I prefer to use an oil. But when I was getting started as a massage therapist, I could never find an oil I liked. So I started making my own. It took quite a bit of trial and error to get it right, but ultimately, I landed on this basic recipe:
1 part grapeseed oil
1 part coconut oil (fractionated or not, totally up to your preference)
1 part jojoba oil (which is technically a wax, but that science doesn’t matter here)
In the summer, I’ll add a little vitamin E oil because people are out in the sun a bit more. So it’ll add some nourishment to the skin.
And in the winter, I’ll add a little sesame oil because it’s a bit thicker. When everyone’s skin is dry from the cold outside air and the indoor heat, the thicker oil helps to re-moisturize the skin.
Measurements for both: about 0.25-0.5 parts, depending on the texture.
And, of course, you can add essential oils to this. How much depends on how much oil you’re making. If you’re using teaspoon/tablespoon amounts of oil for one massage, 3-4 drops of essential oil is plenty. If you’re filling a bottle to last a while, go with 20-30 drops.
At first, I used olive oil instead of grapeseed oil, which offers a great slip for deep tissue work. (And that was my specialty.) But it would linger on the skin and cause folks to sweat a little more, stain fabric more, and not feel super great to the client when they would get up from the table.
If you play with this recipe, let me know what you think of it! 💖
💸 SALES
Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Get my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice at KeliLynJewel.com/voice.
One very simple shift I found helpful in the beginning of my sales career, and that I have taught to literally thousands of people who have also found it helpful: Say “when” not “if” when you’re talking to potential clients.
When you’re describing the thing you want them to do — your call to action — using the word “if” can feel to you like uncertainty.
“If you book a consult call with me…”
Whereas using the word “when” offers a bit more groundedness and authority in your offer.
“When you book your consult call with me…”
I want to be very clear here in that I’m not suggesting any kind of linguistic magic to manipulate people into paying for something they don’t want. Rather, this is about how the language feels to you, providing a bit more ownership over your business than uncertainty can.
We all know that the basics of sales are know/like/trust. When you’re uncertain about your offer, it’s challenging to build trust. You don’t even trust yourself when you’re uncertain!
But when you’re solid in your offer, and you’re describing it using language that aligns with that, you’re better able to foster trust with your potential client. 💸
✨ SPELL
Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a new moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
NEW MOON RITUAL
The new moon is an excellent time to focus on what you want to create, achieve, or accomplish. You can get fancy with your rituals, and if you’re into altar work, crystal work, or any other kind of spiritual work, please feel free to incorporate it. Personally, I like to keep things simple.
Supplies: paper, pen, glass of water that you’ll drink
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else.
Write out what it is you want to create, achieve, or accomplish. This can be big or small. It can be for the lunar cycle beginning with this new moon, the next six months, the next calendar year, or a lifelong dream.
Read what you’ve written—out loud—over your glass of water. Then drink the water.
The new moon in Gemini takes place on Thursday, June 6. And with it comes an invitation to explore beauty, pleasure, and expansive ideas.
Over the next few days, consider how you can initiate something new in your life to invite in more pleasure and expand upon your most fun ideas in beautiful ways.
Then use what you come up with for your new moon ritual. ✨
✊ STATECRAFT
Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
THIRTY-FOUR! 🥳
I say we let our hexes rest for the moment and celebrate this glorious moment instead.
Special thanks to the 12 brave citizens of New York who made this possible. And cheers to all who join me in celebration. 🥂
In case you have missed this information, Donald Trump was found guilty on all 34 counts yesterday. The man is officially a felon.
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
