It’s Friday! Let’s Fuck Shit Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
🔥 SEX
In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
When was the last time you wore something for the sole purpose of feeling sexy? ← No, seriously. Answer this question for yourself.
If the answer is specific, and it’s within the last month, great! My message to you is simply this: Do that again sometime in the next two weeks.
However, I’m gonna need you to read on and take some notes for yourself if the answer is some sort of vague notion of a past time, a complete “No fucking idea when the last time was” notion, or a roll of the eyes and “Ha! I don’t do that!”
What does sexy even feel like? If we were to say that sexy is an emotional state we can be in, with emotions being felt via physiological responses in the body, think back to a time you felt the most sexy and consider what that felt like.
Where do you feel the sensations of sexy?
Describe those sensations. Are there tingles? Pulls? Aches? What else?
If they have colors, movement, sparkles, shapes, etc., describe those, as well.
What are you thinking when you feel sexy? ← This part is crucial because our emotional states are cognitively generated. Or, to put it more simply, our thoughts create our emotions. So, keying into what you’re thinking when you feel sexy helps you to take charge of those feelings and generate them any time you want to.
Though it’s our thoughts that generate our emotions, there are often external triggers that prime our brains to produce those thoughts. And for feeling sexy, what you wear can be an excellent trigger. Given that Halloween is in just a few days, maybe there’s a costume you’d like to wear to feel sexy. Maybe for you, lingerie is what feels sexy. Perhaps you feel sexy in a suit. Or boxers and a tie. Or specific undergarments — or no undergarments at all!
Once you’ve pinned down what sexy feels like for you and what you tend to think that generates those feelings, your next step is to consider what, when you wear it, helps trigger those thoughts.
And the final step: WEAR IT! At some point over the next two weeks, wear what feels sexy to you. It can be for 5 minutes or a whole day. But wear it. And if the mirror is a problem for you, stay away from it. This assignment is about what your body FEELS like, not what your perception is of what it looks like.
Feel into your body as you adorn yourself with sexy. Revel in the sensations. And if you’re a member of Project Reclamation (and it feels good to you to do so), share your experience in the group! 🔥
💖 SELF-CARE
In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
You know those videos of people lying on a bed of nails? When acupressure mats came on the scene of self-care tools a few years ago, that’s all I could imagine it feeling like. (Not that I actually know what a bed of nails feels like. I just envision a lot of OUCH!)
But when Alltrue, a quarterly subscription box I get, offered it, I thought, “What the hell. I’ll try it.”
It just came in about two weeks ago, and when I tell you it’s heavenly, I mean HEAVENLY. (After a bit of ouch.)
The initial sensation the first time I used it was a little shocking because it’s a bunch of plastic pokey things all over a cushioned mat. And that’s just not something my body is used to feeling.
But I’ve used it a few times now, and each time the initial sensation is a little more familiar, which is excellent because it allows my body to relax into the pressure more quickly. And once relaxed, the little pokey things create subtle but ongoing nervous system, fascia, and muscular releases that are quite lovely!
I’ve noticed my low back and hips, as well as my upper back and in between my shoulder blades loosening more than just with my normal Pilates and foam rolling, and those modalities being more effective.
I don’t know what the long-term benefits will be, and this isn’t necessarily an endorsement quite yet. But I always find it useful to know what the people I trust are doing in real-time for their personal self-care, so I thought I’d share something new I’m trying.
If you have an acupressure mat, I’d love to know what you think of it! If you’re interested in them, here’s the one I have. 💖
💸 SALES
Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Get my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice at KeliLynJewel.com/voice.
Sales as conversation.
Here’s what you need to know about sales: Sales is simply a conversation whereby you provide the other person with information and invite them to make a decision. A decision they didn’t even know they could make until you offered the invitation. A decision YOU WERE MAKING FOR THEM by not offering the invitation.
By NOT selling, you’re taking away other people’s agency to make decisions for themselves. Stop it.
Whatever it is you’re selling, whether it’s a product or a service, when you’re in a sales conversation, your focus needs to be on your potential client. The OTHER person involved in the conversation. Not yourself.
That means staying curious about what their needs are and being honest with yourself about whether or not your offer can meet those needs. When that’s your focus, you’ll ensure that whether they’re a yes or a no, you’ve built trust with them.
If you’re apprehensive about what they’ll think about you, anxious that they may say no, afraid that what you’re offering isn’t good enough (or you aren’t good enough), your focus is on YOU. That’s a one-sided conversation.
You’re not selling your offer to yourself. You’re selling it to the other person. Focus on them. Be present with them. Have an actual conversation with them. 💸
✨ SPELL
Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a full moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
FULL MOON RITUAL
The full moon is an excellent time to release anything you’ve been holding onto. And this can mean one of two things! Either you’ve been clinging to something that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip, or you’ve been working toward creating something that you’re now ready to release into the world. Whichever option resonates most with you, that’s where to focus your energy for this ritual.
Supplies: paper, pen, candle, some sort of non-flammable receptacle (actual cauldron, metal, glass, or ceramic bowl or pot, fire pit outside, the base of a grill — you’re gonna burn some shit up so you want something to let it burn in that’s not going to cause any damage to anything)
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else. Then light your candle.
Write out what it is that you’d like to release. If this is something you’ve been clinging to that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip on it, fold the paper in half AWAY from your body. If it’s something you’ve been working on and are releasing into the world, fold the paper in half TOWARD your body.
Light the paper on fire and let it burn in your non-flammable receptacle.
BONUS: If you want to mix the burnt ashes with salt and/or offer them back to the earth by sprinkling them around outside or burying them under the moon, go for it!
If you’ve been experiencing chaos and upheaval lately, hopefully, the end of eclipse season means that’ll calm down a bit for you.
Given that this full moon, occurring on October 28, is a lunar eclipse, the witchy community will advise against any kind of ritual, spellwork, or manifesting. They say the energies are chaotic and unpredictable.
Personally, I use new and full moon rituals as self-care. I see these sacred practices as a way to connect deeper into myself and a way to shift my relationship with time to one that’s more cyclical than what the Western, capitalistic world has adopted.
Make your own choices.
This full moon lunar eclipse is in Taurus at the beginning of Scorpio season. This makes it a beautiful time to reflect on any sacred practices you’ve incorporated into your life, any shadow work or trauma healing you’ve done, and how it has all impacted the way you show up for yourself.
If you don’t want to get into the full ritual, given that this is an eclipse, you can still do the ritualized writing with that as a focus. ✨
✊ STATECRAFT
Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
Given that we were hexing Matt Gaetz with the new moon two weeks ago, it only seems appropriate to be hexing Mike Johnson this week with the full moon. I mean, COME ON! THIS GUY?!
First of all, I don’t even know how he got elected as House rep and assume he didn’t have much competition but had a lot of name recognition due to his radio show. (And now he hosts an evangelical podcast with his wife. Can we get some separation of church and state, please?! — To clarify, I say I don’t even know how he got elected because one of my mastermind clients is in his district and reported that everyone in the district was confused AF as to how he got the spot.
Anyway, he sucks. Homophobic. Anti-abortion. Election denier. Let’s hex the shit out of him. If you wanna continue hexing Matt Gaetz, I support you. And, as always, Josh Hawley will remain on the list until my state can get its shit together and vote him out of the Senate. Who else needs to be hexed?
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
