It’s Friday! Let’s Fuck Shit Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
🔥 SEX
In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
Have you ever done a sexy photo shoot?
Whether it’s a profesh setting with an actual photographer or it’s taking selfies with some killer lighting streaming in from a window in your home, having sexy photos of yourself can be incredibly empowering.
When I was selling sex toys, I’d set up a boudoir shoot with my photographer a couple of times a year as a client event. They’d pick lingerie from my catalog, I’d give them a satin robe and some slippers to wear in the studio, and they’d all bond over their nervous excitement.
Then they’d each have their photos taken, and the transformation of that one experience was always so beautiful to see. They’d come out of the studio feeling so much more confident than when they walked in.
And when they got the photos back? I cannot tell you how many messages I received that were just all of these women ogling over themselves. It was truly one of my favorite things to do because of the self-love and self-admiration it fostered.
When you see yourself through someone else’s lens, whose whole job is to see you in your highest state, there’s nothing else like it. (Which is one of the reasons coaching is so powerful, but that’s another topic.)
This weekend, I’m hosting a retreat for the VIP-level participants of a 6-week Body Reclamation course. And part of the retreat is a photo shoot with my photographer.
It’s one of the things my retreat attendees are looking forward to most. And, honestly, it’s one of the things I’m looking forward to most for them. I cannot wait to witness their transformation from the entire weekend, but specifically for that moment when they walk out of the studio feeling themselves like never before. And I’m SO stoked for them to get their photos back and to see themselves through that lens.
If you’ve never done a sexy photo shoot, I encourage you to do so. And if you’re in the Kansas City metro area, I recommend Kelly Powell. She’s my photographer. She’s brilliant and super easy to work with. Check out her Instagram to see the wide range of photography she does. 🔥
💖 SELF-CARE
In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
Ok, so in the sexy section, I mentioned that there’s nothing like seeing yourself through the lens of someone whose whole job is to see you as your highest self and that coaching does that for you. Let’s unpack that.
Most of us go through life with friends and family around us who we believe are there to support us. Sometimes that proves to be true. Other times, it doesn’t. But nonetheless, they all have ideas about who we are and opinions about who we should be.
Very few of us have a relationship that serves the exclusive purpose of helping us grow with an objective person who isn’t invested in any particular outcome for us but is deeply invested in our ability to see ourselves through the lens of what’s possible.
Unless we have a coach.
Granted, there are many forms of coaching (even if we take athletic coaching and executive coaching out of the mix, focusing exclusively on life coaching). With many tools and many modalities.
But the opportunity to have another person hold space for your lived experience without judgment? The opportunity to have another person genuinely see YOU, rather than a fucked up version of you that they pieced together from their own experiences? The opportunity to have another person guide you through all the shitty socialization that led you to believe you are less-than so that you can start to believe the truth that you are everything?
That’s unmatched. That’s what we all deserve. And that’s what I do for my clients.
Email me if that’s something you’d like in your life. I have space for ONE more 1:1 client, and I’d love to offer it to YOU. 💖
💸 SALES
Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Get my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice at KeliLynJewel.com/voice.
Attraction marketing is a concept often assumed to be associated exclusively with the esoteric community, as if it’s related to the law of attraction and manifestation. And while that lens does exist, that’s not really what it means.
The concept of attraction marketing is based on the philosophy of authenticity and consistency. And the idea is that when you show up as your true self on a consistent basis, you’ll attract your ideal client by way of “Hey! That sounds like me!” or “Hey! I do that, too!”
It’s a relationship-centered, deeply connected form of marketing that often leads to sales in a way that doesn’t feel like trying.
And it’s something I encourage you to explore if you’re into any kind of sales or entrepreneurial vibe.
Show up consistently. As the real you. And connect with others who are drawn to you on a human-to-human level.
No pushing necessary. No fake bullshit required.
And if you’d like some help figuring out how to make that make sense because everything you’ve been taught about marketing and sales is oVeRcOmInG oBjEcTiOnS and getting people to say yes no matter what, I’d love to invite you to get on the waitlist for the next round of SellingU. It’s a program built for you. 💸
✨ SPELL
Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a full moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
FULL MOON RITUAL
The full moon is an excellent time to release anything you’ve been holding onto. And this can mean one of two things! Either you’ve been clinging to something that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip, or you’ve been working toward creating something that you’re now ready to release into the world. Whichever option resonates most with you, that’s where to focus your energy for this ritual.
Supplies: paper, pen, candle, some sort of non-flammable receptacle (actual cauldron, metal, glass, or ceramic bowl or pot, fire pit outside, the base of a grill — you’re gonna burn some shit up so you want something to let it burn in that’s not going to cause any damage to anything)
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else. Then light your candle.
Write out what it is that you’d like to release. If this is something you’ve been clinging to that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip on it, fold the paper in half AWAY from your body. If it’s something you’ve been working on and are releasing into the world, fold the paper in half TOWARD your body.
Light the paper on fire and let it burn in your non-flammable receptacle.
BONUS: If you want to mix the burnt ashes with salt and/or offer them back to the earth by sprinkling them around outside or burying them under the moon, go for it!
We’ve got a solstice AND a full moon here. That’s grounds for a ritual, even if you don’t normally do them.
Whether it’s summer solstice or winter solstice for you depends on whether you’re in the northern or southern hemisphere. But either way, it’s a time that represents death and rebirth. Release and reclamation.
This full moon, at the very first degree of Capricorn, offers us a beautiful opportunity to reflect upon what we’ve accomplished and tap into gratitude.
What do you need to release?
What have you received?
What have you created?
And what do you need to reclaim?
Use those questions as prompts for some inner work this full moon, but come at them through the lens of gratitude and see what you notice.
Happy Solstice! ✨
✊ STATECRAFT
Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
Remember Mason Herring, who we hexed a while back? (TX jackass who poisoned his pregnant wife by dissolving abortion medication in her water.) Today, we’re hexing his brother-in-law, Thomas Pressly.
A state senator in Louisiana representing Shreveport, TP introduced a bill to criminalize “abortion by fraud” on the basis that Mason’s sentencing of 180 days was not enough.
And, listen. I agree that the sentencing wasn’t enough. But focusing on “abortion by fraud” in a place where abortion is already illegal? What this has led to is Louisiana becoming the first state to classify abortion medication as controlled substances. What it has led to is Louisiana criminalizing abortion.
“The bill provides for the general penalty for possession of Mifepristone or Misoprostol to be imprisonment of one to five years with the possibility of hard labor. It is also punishable by a fine of at most $5,000. The bill also criminalizes causing another’s abortion by fraud. A person causing another’s abortion by fraud can face penalties of 10 to 20 years of imprisonment with hard labor and a fine of $100,000.” (Citation link.)
How do we prove “abortion by fraud,” and how slippery is that slope?
And Mife + Miso as controlled fucking substances?!
No. This is not the vibe.
Again, I agree that 180 days was not enough. BECAUSE HE POISONED HIS FUCKING WIFE.
But instead, we’re seeing legislation criminalizing abortion. And instead of helping his sister and her child, TP used her trauma as a slimy excuse for the bill.
Hex this guy. He deserves it.
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
