It’s Friday! Let’s Fuck Shit Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
🔥 SEX
In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
When was the last time you had intentional solo sexy time?
If it’s something you do regularly, I applaud you! 👏👏👏
If not, I want to invite you to do so.
Set aside some time to explore your own body, offer yourself pleasure, and actually pay attention to the experience.
This isn’t the time to just get in, get out, get off, and get on with life. It’s a 10-minute or 30-minute or 2-hour (length of time is entirely up to you!) exercise with the sole purpose of connecting with your sexy self.
Wear something you feel sexy in, or wear nothing at all. Be in a bubble bath or surrounded by soft blankets. Stroke, caress, rub, and touch whatever feels good in ways that feel good. Use lotion, oil, lube, water, or whatever else. Grab your favorite vibrator (or purchase a new one). The only limitation here is your own imagination and WILLINGNESS to play.
As you’re engaging in this exercise, pay attention to what you feel — both physically and emotionally. Make mental note and write about your experience when you’ve decided the exercise has come to its natural conclusion.
A couple of prompts that may help with the writing:
❤️🔥What did you notice?
❤️🔥What have you learned about yourself?
❤️🔥What (if anything) do you want to share with your partner(s) vs what you want to keep for yourself?
💖 SELF-CARE
In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
What would happen if you truly loved, accepted, and APPROVED of yourself?
This is the core of what I work on with my clients.
Yes, there may be an area of life that we’re focused on for the duration of a session or even for an extended period of time.
But whether we’re talking about your body image, your relationships, your career trajectory, or your business, pretty much all of it comes down to your own self-approval.
If you don’t approve of yourself, don’t accept yourself, don’t love yourself unconditionally, you’ll reach for external sources of validation and pleasure that are short-lived and sometimes lead to pain or discomfort. Like the ice cream you eat to numb out when you know damn good and well your body does not tolerate dairy, so you end up feeling like absolute garbage the next day.
Try this:
💖Go to a mirror.
💖Look directly into your own eyes.
💖Say your own name, and then, “I love you. I accept you. I approve of you. Exactly as you are.”
What comes up for you when doing this?
Do you have resistance to it? Think it’s stupid? Scary? Childish?
Does it bring up tears? Anger? Shame?
Take a few moments and write out what you notice about your experience with this exercise.
If you’re a member of Project Reclamation, share it with us and let us know what it was like for you. Or bring it to our next coaching call (either for Project Reclamation or individually if you’re one of my 1:1 clients).
💸 SALES
Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Get my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice at KeliLynJewel.com/voice.
What if the only thing standing in the way of you achieving the kinds of sales goals you want to achieve is how hard you are on yourself?
I know, that sounds like bullshit. But in truth, your relationship with yourself is at the core of your business.
If you are constantly beating yourself up because you have an unconscious story about how you’re lazy, not good enough, or aren’t worthy/capable/etc. enough to make things work, you’re going to have an adversarial relationship with your business. So you’ll develop resentment toward behind-the-scenes tasks, your audience, your clients, and even the income you generate.
So you’ll push your current and potential business away, hide from it, and end up spinning your wheels wondering why the hell you’re putting so much in for so little return. You’ll burn out, or you’ll quit. But you’ll never actually build the business you want.
Whereas if your relationship with yourself is one built upon a solid foundation of love and trust, you’ll be able to do the tasks (even when imperfectly, even when inconsistently), nurture your audience, serve your clients, and generate the revenue that will produce your desired income in ways that actually feel pretty good.
That doesn’t mean your business will be all rainbows and sunshine. But what it does mean is that you can run it with a sense of ease and flow, rather than Sisyphus incessantly pushing his boulder up that damn mountain.
Listen, if being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now. But since it doesn’t, all you’re doing is holding yourself back from the thing you claim you want.
Shift your relationship to yourself, and you’ll shift your entire business.
And for help with that, get at me. We’ll talk about whether 1:1 coaching or one of my group programs is the best fit for you.
✨ SPELL
Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a full moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
FULL MOON RITUAL
The full moon is an excellent time to release anything you’ve been holding onto. And this can mean one of two things! Either you’ve been clinging to something that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip, or you’ve been working toward creating something that you’re now ready to release into the world. Whichever option resonates most with you, that’s where to focus your energy for this ritual.
Supplies: paper, pen, candle, some sort of non-flammable receptacle (actual cauldron, metal, glass, or ceramic bowl or pot, fire pit outside, the base of a grill — you’re gonna burn some shit up so you want something to let it burn in that’s not going to cause any damage to anything)
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else. Then light your candle.
Write out what it is that you’d like to release. If this is something you’ve been clinging to that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip on it, fold the paper in half AWAY from your body. If it’s something you’ve been working on and are releasing into the world, fold the paper in half TOWARD your body.
Light the paper on fire and let it burn in your non-flammable receptacle.
BONUS: If you want to mix the burnt ashes with salt and/or offer them back to the earth by sprinkling them around outside or burying them under the moon, go for it!
We’ve got a second full moon in Capricorn on Sunday, July 21, which is a pretty rare occurrence. It’s happening at the very last degrees of Cancer, just before we move into Leo season.
Given the cuspy nature of this full moon and the grounded earthiness of Capricorn, I want to invite you to consider:
🦀What limiting beliefs do you have that are holding you back?
🦁How can you release them with this full moon?
Incorporate these questions into your ritual this weekend. And if you feel so inclined, share it with me! You can post on social and tag me, email or DM me, or share about it in the Project Reclamation group if you’re a member.
✊ STATECRAFT
Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
Though Josh Hawley is always on our list for hex recipients, we’re adding a little extra hexiness for him this week.
Yes, there are a lot of fuckers we could throw on here, and I invite you to share in Project Reclamation who ELSE you’re hexing this week. But here’s why my senator is getting our hexy attention this week:
“Some will say now that I am calling America a Christian nation. And so I am.
And some will say that I’m advocating for Christian Nationalism. And so I do.”
They’ve been saying the quiet parts out loud for a few years now. And they’re just becoming more emboldened to not only say it, but to put the infrastructure together to make it a reality.
If you’re not aware of Project 2025 yet, I invite you to check it out. It’s a thoroughly detailed plan to dismantle the democratic social structures of the United States put out by The Heritage Foundation, an extreme right-wing think tank.
This isn’t new. They’ve been working on it for years. And Josh Hawley’s words give the vibe of the agenda.
If you’re one of the many people who are terrified of this being put into place, I’m not going to try to quell those fears. Because whatever you’re scared of is probably something that could happen, and I have zero interest in gaslighting you.
Instead, my interest as your life coach (whether or not you’re one of my paying clients) is to teach you how to process that fear and move through it so it doesn’t paralyze you.
Starting in August, this is the focus of Project Reclamation for the next few months.
We’ve got work to do, and whether your part in that is canvassing, phone banking, text banking, donating money, sending postcards, or having individual conversations with the people in your life, being paralyzed with fear is not the vibe.
So we’re focusing on creating internal safety, processing and healing in community, and politically organizing.
I’m not going to tell you what to believe or how to vote. But I am going to share my experiences with you. Because politics is what brought me to coaching. I’ve done more thought work on politics than probably anything else.
After Trump was elected in 2016, I started having massive panic attacks by day and nightmares that would wake me up nearly every 45 minutes throughout the night. The only way I felt safe was with volunteer activism, so I devoted everything I had to leading two organizations in Kansas City and being heavily involved in several others.
While that sounds great (good enough that a therapist labeled it “excellent coping skills” and told me I didn’t need her), it led to near financial devastation and complete burnout.
So when I found the thought work tools I teach, and started working with a coach, I started there. And kept coming back to it in order to heal and find regulation within the fear, so that I could still pay attention to politics and engage in activism in a healthy way.
Now, I’m drawing upon what I’ve learned to create a safe space for you to bring your fear, your anger, and whatever else you’re carrying. You can let it out, and we’ll work through it together. And when there’s an organization you want to lift up or an action you want to encourage others to take, you’ll be able to drop it into the group.
We’re in this together. We have to be.
Join Project Reclamation here.
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
